do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
