Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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