i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
