Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
