i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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