Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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