How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
