Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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