The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
