im so drunk with asians
where?
always
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
