Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
