the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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