We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
vagina is talking i cant
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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