I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
