the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
