Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
