Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
