she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
