Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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