I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
