Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
