I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
