Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
