i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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