I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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