i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
