Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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