Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
