North Korea, Best Korea!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
only you would photoshop your dick
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
