I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
