But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
