my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
