You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
