I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
