Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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