Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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