im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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