You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
