Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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