what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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