let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
