Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
