when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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