Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
