I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
