5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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