I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Found your dick twin last night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
