I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
