I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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