I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
